Random Comments With PewTerFly
by Exotos135
Summary: With Marco living with Jackie in the moment, Star uses his recording booth to start a series of her own.
1. Chapter 1

In the Diaz household, Star's reading watching TV as the title of the fanfic appears and an elegant voice speaks,

"And now, random comments, with Star Butterfly."

* * *

 **How have you been coping?**

* * *

"Coping with what, exactly? If you mean the wand, well I take into consideration that I now know the history of my people a bit better, and I got some combat skills myself so, to cope...I actually don't think I cope that much, I'm fine the way it is for the moment. Pretty calm, not many monster attacks, It's pretty boring too but necessary."

"Now if you mean how I cope about not being part of Marco's harem, I write porn about him and his concubines."

Star smiles with half-closed eyes and then suddenly blurts, "That's considered normal in my culture, okay?!"

* * *

 **Do you like video games?**

* * *

"From my little exposure to them, I can't give you an honest, true answer so easily."

* * *

 **Want a new wand?**

* * *

Star gives the camera an unamused, sorta pissed off look as text above reads "Star is not amused" in black font.

* * *

 **What do you think of fire?**

* * *

Star, suddenly wearing a black robe, turns around and sings dramatically,

"It's like fire, campfire, that fire melts marsh-ma-llows!"

* * *

 **Do you like Marco?**

* * *

"Generic answer."

* * *

 **Want a fluffal?**

* * *

"What's a fluffal?"

* * *

 **Do you want Marco's babies?**

* * *

"Oh my gosh, Marco's a mother?!"

.

"This has been, Random Comments, with Star Butterfly."


	2. Chapter 2

In the Diaz household, same thing happens as before, only Star is using a seesaw with Ferguson.

"And now, random comments, with Star Butterfly."

* * *

 **PewTerFly, you're a slut, you know?!**

* * *

"Sorry, I'm not this PewTerFly you're looking for, I'm Star Butterfly."

Star turns away with a goofy smile as some omnious music plays.

* * *

 **You love Marcoplier, do you?**

* * *

"Yeah, Marco's a pretty nice guy, and one that deserves more respect and love than everybody think he deserves. I mean, he went to the underworld because he was worried about me, for crying out loud!"

* * *

 **I'm not able to read your series for more than 10 seconds. Bye.**

* * *

Star holds a milk shake and waves goodbye as she says in an indian tone, "Please come again!"

* * *

 **I got a piece of pie for you.**

* * *

Star changes her tone to a more suggestive one and says, "Sorry honey, but my mouth will only accept one pie: Marco's."

* * *

 **COPYCAT! STEALING FROM PEWDIEPIE!**

* * *

"Who is PEWDIEPIE?"

* * *

 **Are you a virgin?**

* * *

"Well, I'm friends with a flying unicorn head, does that count?"

* * *

 **There's low quality in these chapters.**

* * *

"There's low quantity in the fucks I give."

* * *

 **PewTerFly, you suck.**

* * *

"Again, I'm not PewTerFly, I'm Star Butterfly. Get it right!"

* * *

 **PewTerFly is so fucking stupid, it hurts.**

* * *

"Well that's rather mean, just because her name sounds dumb doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings!"

* * *

 **Stay awesome, my friend.**

* * *

"Stay even more awesome, random person on the internet!"

* * *

 **MY CARROTS ARE ON THE LOOSE!**

* * *

"I knew it, the carrots are trying to overthrow humans!"

A carrot suddenly pops up and Star immediately devours it.

* * *

 **Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.**

* * *

"Aww, that's so nice of you!"

* * *

 **You are a sissy faggot.**

* * *

Star's smile turns into a frown as a message appears above her, reading "Star won't dignify that comment with a response" in bold letters.

* * *

 **You always give me a happy day. :D**

* * *

"And days always make me happy, so there you go!"

* * *

 **Mommy, is that you?**

* * *

Instead of giving a witty comment or response, Star reaches for the computer and from there she takes out a toddler-sized human kid that looks like a mix between herself and another person. While a bit surprised and confused by the kid's appearance, she soon smiles and hugs the kid, letting him sit on her lap as she goes to the last comment.

* * *

 **PewTerFly, what have you done?! LUDO MIGHT MAKE A SERIES OF HIS OWN TO TRY AND DEFEAT YOU!**

* * *

"Nah, don't worry about him, he doesn't even have a castle anymore."

.

"This has been, Random Comments, with Star Butterfly."


	3. Chapter 3

In the Butterfly castle, Star is watching over her kid playing with a fluffal bear, who is at the royal nursery as the title appears and a gentle voice says,

"And now, random comments, with Star Butterfly."

* * *

 **You like triangle food, are you illuminati?**

* * *

Star nervously says the next as she's suddenly wearing a red shirt with triangle dots, has a triangle-shaped top-hat and a pair of glasses styled after the eye of providence. "No, not at all, what makes you think that?"

* * *

 **You said you write porn of Marco and his "concubines" to cope with the fact you're not one of said concubines, right? If you were to sell said porn, how much money would it cost?"**

* * *

Star bites her pinky finger and says in a dramatic tone, "One million dollars!"

Star then releases her pinky and groans. "I don't know why people bite their pinkies like this when they say that, it hurts like hell!"

* * *

 **Star! Show us your vagina!**

* * *

Star took out a Yu-Gi-Oh card with a censored picture. "Here it is, my vagina!"

* * *

 **Where is the child you got the last chapter?**

* * *

"Well, mom and dad aren't too excited about me having a child and keeping him in Earth, so I gave him to them and they took him to the royal nursery, where he will be taken care of until he's of age. I can vist him once an earth week, any day I want."

* * *

 **My fanfictions are better!**

* * *

"I don't make fanfiction, I make porn. The statement should be that your porn is better."

* * *

 **KILL YOURSELF!**

* * *

"I could "keel" myself, but it wouldn't be easier if I just "killed" myself?"

* * *

 **I think you're really pretty. Please date me!**

* * *

"Okay, I don't even know who you are...wait, that username...is that you, Ferguson?"

"Well, I could go on a date with you, but we need to plan this so that neither of our reputations are tainted. Come to the Diaz house tomorrow and we'll see how it goes, okay? Good."

* * *

 **Read JackieSepticEye for some real fun instead of this douche!**

* * *

"I don't know what douche they're talking about, but I agree with this comment! Go read her stuff now! JUST DO IT!"

* * *

 **NOTICE ME SENPAI!**

* * *

Before Star can reply, the room goes dark and a familiar figure comes in. It's StarFan13, whose eyes and mouth flash light blue as she plays a slow, kinda comforting melody as Star slowly turns around and waves hello, which the fangirl gladly returns.

* * *

 **These comments are so fucking stupid!**

* * *

"Yet your comment is the fucking stupidest of the bunch."

Star puts on some glasses and flashes a smug smile as people yell and obnoxious loudhorns are played.

* * *

 **RUN FROM GIANT BACON!**

* * *

Star puts on a fedora hat and takes out a whip as dramatically heroic music plays, and she runs away as a giant bacon rolles by.

* * *

 **Oh, what a nice girl you are!**

* * *

"It's so nice to have a comment that isn't mean spirited, or odd, or have a pretty good setup for a joke for once..."

"You're just trying to get in my pants, aren't you?"

* * *

 **STAR IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, WOULD YOU LOVE MARCO OR OSCAR!**  
 **(only one)**

* * *

"This is an easy choice: I would choose to love Marco as a friend and love Oskar as a potential love interest. So there you go."

.

"This has been, Random Comments, with Star Butterfly."


	4. Chapter 4

Outside the Diaz household, Star checks the mailbox and takes out a Fluffal Bear plushie as a serene voice speaks,

"And now, Random Comments, with Star Butterfly."

* * *

 **I sent you a fluffal bear in the mail, check your door in about 30 seconds!**

* * *

"I did, I got the fluffal bear here, and just to specify: I gave the last one you sent me to my never-heard-before son."

* * *

 **If you were to take the role of a Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which horseman would you most likely be?**

* * *

"Have you seen the rampaging shit I cause in a single day?! If anything, I'm practically the descendant of War!"

* * *

 **Would you like to visit the frightfur factory or the artifact sanctum?! or maybe the quantum cat or the super quantum magna carrier.**

* * *

"I did it once...and I don't wanna do it again."

* * *

 **Have you ever had sex with marco?**

* * *

Star gives the camera a shocked, almost horrified, and her eyes twitches before she stutters, "N-No, w-w-w-what makes you think?"

* * *

 **Who's that child's father?!**

* * *

"Okay, this is a bit of a hunch, and you'll never believe me, and this might come across as the most insane thing I've ever said, but I'm going to guess my child's father...is his father."

* * *

 **Have you ever visited the rainbow factory?**

* * *

"No, because my inter dimensional scissors can't open portals to fictional locations."

* * *

 **Would you throw your kid in the pegasus device?**

* * *

Star frowns and snarls, "Ask me something morbid like that again, and I'll ban you with extreme prejudice!"

* * *

 **Have you ever met constellar sombre?**

* * *

Star, holding the constellar sombre card in front of her, stares at it for a moment, turns to the camera with a confused look and replies, "Does this count?"

* * *

 **Black ops 3 is out, what's your favorite gun?!**

* * *

"Again, I don't play videogames, I prefer to kick monster butts. However, just to satisfy the second part of the question, my favorite gun would be anything that has a ton of damaging potential, and is long-ranged."

"Actually, does wands count as guns?"

* * *

 **Have you ever played card games on motorcycles?**

* * *

"No, I'm not allowed to join the card jousting games in Mewni."

* * *

 **How's cupid doing?**

* * *

"How the hell should I know? I never met the guy."

* * *

 **GTA V?**

* * *

"Yeah, what about it?"

* * *

 **You are worthless!**

* * *

"Do you mean it in mewman or in human, because "Worthless" in Mewman means someone who only fucks all day."

"If you meant in human, then suck it, if you meant it in mewman, GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

* * *

 **Red robin!**

* * *

Star, donning the Red Robin outfit with mask included, puts on an "epic" pose and says in a deep voice, "I'm pretty much a discount Batman."

She then laughs and adds in her normal voice, "I can't make a mock-Batman voice, mine's not awesome enough!"

* * *

 **Star we know you see Marco as a love interest and that you're only doing these videos because you want to take your mind off him.**

 **(Don't deny it)**

 **P.S: I love your porn**

* * *

"Okay, I won't deny that I can see him as a potential romantic partner, but let's be realistic: Marco's interested in Jackie, and we're only friends. I mean, if we end up together, that's fine but for the timebeing I don't wanna ruin his chances with Jackie, whatever those are."

"And It's good you like porn...only one question: how the hell did you get it?"

* * *

 **We are anonymous, who are you?**

* * *

"I'm the princess of Mewni, Star Butterfly! Nice to meet you!"

* * *

 **Want some pie?**

* * *

Star notices a pie next to her and answers, "Only if it's pie flavored."

Suddenly, a chibi version of Star pops out of the pie as a guitar riff plays.

.

"And this has been, Random Comments, with Star Butterfly."


	5. Chapter 5

"And now, Random Comments, with Star Bu-"

Star comes out of nowhere and interrupts the intro.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you intro, and I will let you finish, but I got some important news to tell to my wonderful viewers. I have finished the Marco plushie Jackie requested a while ago, so Marco will return to doing his own shown in a few days. So, this is the very last final episode of Random Comments with Star Butterfly, and I thank you all so much for watching me while it lasted."

"Okay intro, do your thing!"

"And now, for real, Random Comments, with Star Buttefly."

* * *

 **Star, you must go save Marco right now!**

 **Jackie pretty much RAPED him and now he needs your help!**

 **P.S: I got your porn through Janna**

 **(I'm the guy that said I love your porn)**

* * *

"Thanks random guy who likes my porn, I'll go im-"

Star hears her phone ring, so she takes it out and checks her messages, finding that the most recent one is from Marco. She opens it and reads:

"Dear Star, Jackie has apologized for what she did to me on Thanksgiving, she got exasperated and didn't really thought about she was doing until it was too late. But she stopped and apologized."

Star goes "aww" before getting an extra message:

"P.S: I dominated her in bed."

This time, Star yells in excitement and pride as loudhorns are blown.

* * *

 **ZA WARUDO! Toki Wo Tomare!**

 **Find a way to counter and restore the flow of the duration of the frozen time. Cause I, DIO, will not be bested by some generic magical girl with an unhealthy obsession of anything related to fantasy.**

 **PS: Wrrry~~**

* * *

"Okay, one, time hasn't really frozen, so either I'm immune to time freeze or you bluff, and two..."

Star puts on a brown wig with a ridiculous hairstyle, crosses her arms and says,

"Omae wa mou shindeiru."

The screen goes red and Star becomes completely black as a cross is made in the background.

* * *

 **Hmm. I know! I'll send you some fluffal wings!**

 **Also, the magiespecters are loose! what will you do?!**

* * *

"Thanks, but you don't need to keep sending me these gifts. I'd really appreciate it if you sent them to Marco, or Jackie, or my kid back in Mewni."

"I'm going to see hwo much money I get, then get all the magiespecters cards available, and I will make a magiespecter deck to conquer the YU-GI-OH CHAMPIONSHIP! And then, THE WORLD! AND THEN, THE UNIVERSE! AND THEN...actually, just the universe."

* * *

 **Do you have Christmas in Mewni?**

* * *

"Not really, but we have a very similar holiday called Gluklspal, wherein we defend Mewni from the monstrous demon stuck inside the body of the current ruler of the land, then seal it on another body before eating some traditional mewman food like rattycorns, slothatos and so on."

"...Actually, what the hell am I saying? They have nothing in common."

* * *

 **Merry Christmas, big fan of yours! Are you going to sell any of your porn anytime soon? And if so, will you ever make christmas-themed porn?**

* * *

"No, I'm not planning to make christmas-themed porn nor sell any of my porn anytime soon, for a variety of reasons."

"First of all, like a good spell, it takes time to make it anywhere from decent to good, and it takes even longer if I want it to look almost perfect. If I rush it up, then it'll probably look ugly and not sexy in the slightest."

"Second of all,

"Third of all, I don't really know

* * *

 **Inhale my dong, enragement princess!**

* * *

"Inhale my response, enragement comment!"

* * *

 **Star, show me your abs!**

* * *

Star, showing her phone in front of the camera, shows all the apps she has. "Here they are, I don't know why you would want to watch them, though."

* * *

 **If you had to pick between gingerbread men and any other desserts, which would you pick?**

* * *

"Gingerbread men, no doubt. They're so cute!"

* * *

 **Have you watched any christmas specials lately? Found any of them that you enjoy?**

* * *

"Yes and no. Yes in that I've seen a couple of specials, but no in the sense that I haven't really enjoyed many of those. I liked a couple of them, but I wanna avoid the ones that I believe I'll enjoy, because I want to share my enjoyment with the rest of the Diaz family. It's just...more special that way."

* * *

 **What present will you give to your parents?**

* * *

"I might give them something special...I don't really know what to give them, though, they seem like they would like boring stuff but I don't think that's true. I'll get working on finding them a good present when this is over, okay?"

* * *

 **Star, have you ever seen any of the previous Disney Channel or Disney XD animated series? If so, what do you think of them?**

* * *

"Oh...well guys, get ready to burn me, 'cause I might make some of you angry."

"Okay, when it comes to stuff in Disney Channel, I don't think we can ask about. I mean, almost every time they get an animated series, they take it to Disney XD and that sucks, because a lot of people miss out some good stuff in there! Sure, they also miss the bad stuff, but come on!"

"Anyway, I did watch some Fish Hooks, Phineas and Ferb, The 7D, Gravity Falls and...I think there was also this show called Zip Zip, so I can only talk about those."

"For Fish Hooks...I didn't really get it. I mean, I can undeerstand that it's about three teenage fish who go to high school, but what the hell? Teenage fish? Can fish even reach what we, well, what the Earth people consider teenagehood? And that's not the only problem: the art style's weird, mostly on the background, the fish themselves are fine if ugly-looking, the jokes are weird and it can't seem. Then again, I didn't watch much of the show when it ended, I think I only watched part of Season 1 and 2 and missed the entirety of season 3, which was the final season. And that makes me sad, even if I didn't get it."

"Gravity Falls...just isn't for me. I mean, the characters are likable, the jokes work fine, the art style is fantastic and the backgrounds are gorgeous, my main problem...I don't even know what's my main problem with it. The characters, the jokes, the episodes, everything is so good that I should be gushing about it at every chance I get, and yet all I can say is that it isn't for me."

"Phineas and Ferb, the genius duo capable of building insane artifacts in a matter of minutes, I should probably start in...no wait, I'm supposed to talk about their show. Nevermind!"

"Phineas and Ferb, the show, the progenitor, the savior of Disney Channel, the musical juggernaut, the longest living cartoon, the cartoon I decided to give a ton of names for some reason. It was pretty good: the jokes, though repetitive, kept my interest, the musical songs were awesome for the most part and I liked the characters. Plus, it had a kickass movie named Across the 2nd Dimension, it's practically the only Disney Channel cartoon in YEARS to have a movie based on it. So yeah, I liked it a lot."

"The 7D's also good, though to a lesser extent. The dwarfs are pretty good, though I like Happy the most, the Gloom...well they could have been worse, Queen Delightful is a refreshing queen who is not evil as sin, Lord Starchbottom...reminds me of Manfred, but nothing else comes to mind. It's good."

"Zip Zip...was okay. It was about some animals who decided to escape the forest, disguise themselves as animals and become pets to a pair of nice people. It reminds me of something that happened like that , but outside of that, nothing really to write home about."

"Would you look at that, I barely talked about four shows from Disney Channel and we already have a shit ton of dialogue. And I still have to talk about the Disney XD series! Among these are Camp Lakebottom, Randy Cunningham, Kick Buttowski, Ultimate Spiderman, Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H, Avengers Assemble, Penn Zero, Wander over Yonder and Star Wars Rebels, so let's get this over with as fast as we can."

"Camp Lakebottom: It's canadian, do the math."

"Randy Cunningham: Cool premise, good characters, don't like the fart jokes."

"Kick Buttowski: Definitely lives up to the pun until 2nd Season, which blows big time."

"Ultimate Spiderman: More like ultimate rip-off."

"Wander over Yonder: Great first season, like where the second season's going."

"Hulks and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H: Utter disasterpiece."

"Avengers Assemble: Better, if barely, than the last two entries."

"Penn Zero: Good show, like the premise, GO WATCH IT!"

"Star Wars Rebels: Short for a first season but does fine, second season looking like it'll be awesome."

"Phew, that took forever. Okay, let's move on."

* * *

 **Same as last question, but concerning the live-action series.**

* * *

"Wow, how original: go from a question that had a longass answer to another question that needs a longass answer."

"Anyhow, with Disney Channel, I can definitely and easily describe their live-action programming. It's shit...for the most part. Let me talk about the ones I did get to see, if briefly."

"Shake It Up...I don't like it. At all. The main characters are unlikable, particularly CeCe, I don't really get the jokes and I couldn't stand it for more than a couple of episodes. Also, it got a movie whose only good point were the songs. Just saying."

"A.N.T. Farm is a bit better than Shake It Up, but it stoops to levels lower than SIU in it's third and hankfully final season. China was fine, Olive was insufferable even before season 3, and poor Fletcher just had it rough."

"I Didn't Do It...what the hell?"

"Jessie, yet another disasterpiece. Except that unlike the last disasterpiece, this one has way more attention than it deserves. It even got a spinoff! Like what the hell man, what the hell?!"

"Good Luck Charlie is one of the few shows in the live-action-verse that I think is pretty good. And relatable, to an extent. Oh, and it also got a movie, which is far easier to stomach and enjoyable, and It's even christmas related!"

"Austin & Ally is on the same boat as Good Luck Charlie...but the quality can be inconsistent."

"KC Undercover...It's meh, slightly bordering on the good side."

"Girl Meets World is another one of the good ones, and it's pretty consistent most of the time...keyword being most."

"Dog With a Blog...well, think of it this way: I find this more enjoyable than Jessie. When a talking dog with a blog brings me more joy than another entry, something is wrong."

"Liv and Maddie, is pretty much my mess-up twins idea turned live-action, and I don't like it."

"Now for Disney XD...it's mediocre for the most part, but I'd rather watch that 24/7 than see the 70% of the Disney Channel live-action-verse."

"Lab Rats, mostly fine. Nothing I would write home about."

"Mighty Med, badass concept with the hero hospital idea, it's got potential. Unfortunately it falls on the pitfalls of all the live action series, so it is pretty mediocre."

"Crash and Bernsten...talk about fucking up big time."

"Kirby Buckets, decent. That's really all I can say about it."

"Kickin' It, like Mighty Med it had a concept with potential, but it's ultimately mediocre."

* * *

 **What do you think about these tropes, commonly found in live-action Disney shows: Hypocritical humor, laughing track, sibling rivalry.**

* * *

"People _really_ seem to wanna know my opinion on Disney Channel and Disney XD shows lately, and I find that weird."

"With hypocritical humor, it's so overused I can't find it funny anymore. If there's even the slightest, I bet it will be used, and if it is used, you can bet I won't laugh. This technique should be used sparingly, not every single time you can use it."

"With the laughing track...it can get annoying. _Very_ annoying, _**very** _ fast. I mean if It's used once in a while when a joke happens that's fine, but when the show's constantly throwing jokes at you, regardless of whether they're good or bad, the laughing track never stops laughing and it is absolutely ear grating after a while. I mean, think how annoying I could be if I laughed constantly at jokes, then put that in a live-action series, and there you got the laughing track."

"Sibling rivalry is, in all honesty, I trope I could do without. I just hate to see people related to each other be at each other's throats so often. Come to think of it, why is this mostly a live-action exclusive trope? Phineas and Ferb and Dipper and Mabel get to have a good relationship, but the rich kids in Jessie cannot? What kind of bullshit is that?! If you're trying to do something here, then it failed for me."

* * *

 **What will you wish for Christmas?**

* * *

"I wish whatever Marco wishes! So I'm more than likely going to end up in a threesome with him and Jackie, haha."

* * *

 **Star, you're under a mistletoe, that means you got to kiss the person next to you. In the mouth!**

* * *

"Luckily, I'm completely alo-"

Suddenly Mrs. Diaz arrives, takes the mistletoe and gives a kiss to Star before leaving. "Oh come on!"

* * *

 **One of the common traditions in the new year is to stay awake until midnight to see the new year come. Can you manage to stay awake until then?**

* * *

Star gives a clock, which is at 7:59 pm, a cold glare and states, "Okay clock, I don't like you, and I believe you are part of a the cupcake people conspiracy, but no matter what happens, I will get to mid-"

The instant the clock hits 8, Star falls asleep and hits the ground.

"And that's all for today, everybody, and a happy christmas to you all! I would do some more comments, but I'm honestly tired after all these comments and I want to relax with my foster family...and I might even visit my real family pretty soon. Thank you so much for watching me, and I'll see you someday, in one of Marco's chapters."

.

"This has been, Random Comments, with Star Butterfly."


	6. Christmas Letter

A note comes flying through a window and lands on the floor. Inside the note's a letter, one with Star's headband replaced by a deer-eared one and her wand now a candy cane. And that's not all, it says the next:

I've only been on Earth for a couple of months, and I fell in love with it! The people, the culture, the fortune cookies, the opposums! Oh lord, THE OPPOSUMS! It's certainly a refreshing sight from mewni!

Although, now that I mention it, mom and dad seem to be the only mewmans who miss me...are the rest of the mewmans glad that I'm gone?

Anyway, I'm happy to be here for who knows how long, and I hope I end up becoming less and less of a walking hazard as time goes on. So, as Marco told me to tell you: Merry Christmas!

From: Star "Not PewTerFly" Butterfly

To: All fans, non-fans, and everybody else in the universe!


End file.
